Chris Bailey III - The Silence Killer

PSALM 32:3 KJV
When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.

​​Silence during worship in the morning? What a blessing. Silence in an elementary classroom? A miracle! Silence in a relationship? That's a killer. It's the mental/emotional equivalent of literally holding your breath until the smoke clears. It might bring relief for moment, but it could kill you quicker than what you're trying to avoid.

Just this past weekend, I tried to "hold my breath." There was a situation where my frustration was mounting and I wanted to sound off. One of the other parties was a beautiful woman by the name of "Fara" (names may be changed to protect the innocent). But that's necessary; it was my SweeT, my wife, Tara. In short, I got frustrated and got quiet to avoid an argument. Yes, silence may avoid the argument, but it doesn't avoid the conflict. My issue, my feelings, and my thoughts were as real as the big nose on my face. Being quiet when we are supposed to speak is like pushing mute on the TV instead of pause on the DVD. You can't hear the words but it doesn't stop the action.

I know some may want to wax philosophic and misquote some verses or proverbs on silence. But the balance to them all is leveraged in ECCLESIASTES 3:7:

​A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

Our Father In Heaven is so wise! He knew we would run off the deep end one way or the other, so He put up a sign that says "both ways", but the key is timing. More accurately, His timing. Plainly put, when you know you want to argue, it's time be quiet. But when you know you want to make peace, it's time to speak up. Talking is the exhale to make room for the fresh inhale. Speaking in season is as powerful as giving in season.

To the Brothers: This post is for all of us, but it's the hardest for us. Most men do not want to talk it out. We may hold it in as a virtue, but it becomes a vice. It matters because the effects of silence are indeed more damaging to women than they are to us. We have to come to a place where we perceive silence OUT of season as reprehensible as family abandonment because it is the denial of a vital necessity.

With this disclaimer in mind, spouses, parents, children, siblings, family, colleagues, classmates, saints...

...when we know we want to argue with someone, it's time to be quiet. And if we just can't help ourselves and we have to sound off, go argue with God. Yes, I said it because Moses, Job, Peter, and others did it. The LORD can handle it. Prayer is talking to God as a friend, and if He is your best friend, He wants your problems just as much as your praises.

...when we know we want to make peace with someone, it's time to talk. Not yell. Not vent. Not mumble. But talk, share, explain, confess (which may include listen, cry, laugh, forgive). Learning this is not easy, so remember -

PSALM 27:1 KJV
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Don't let fear make you grab the blanky of silence and run away. Instead, let faith empower you to grab the hands of those we love and say,"let's talk."