The Plumber To The Zookeeper...

​Matthew 5:23-24 KJV
Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; [24] Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

Complaining to other people about problems you have with a person, is like complaining to the plumber about the zookeeper in the cafeteria. It doesn't make a whole lotta sense! This is true for any relationship, particularly the closer the relationship. That is why Jesus framed it in the context of a brother-to-brother connection. But this wisdom is especially true in a marriage - the closest of all relationships in the eyes of our Creator.

Now to be honest, it does feel good to gripe about the sour grapes someone may be dishing us. But that pleasure is to the flesh, not the spirit. Venting, posting, or calling to someone else might get it off your chest, but it won't get it out of your heart. "...First be reconciled..." Reconciliation is a spiritual transaction and it is exactly what the Master, the Great Reconciler, is prescribing. This process starts in a surrendered, sanctified heart that may at the same time be a hurt or broken heart. Reconciliation doesn't start in a feeling to be had, but in a decision to obey; a decision to love. The raw material to begin is divine and not human. Because the only way to truly love people is to first love the God Who made them.

After making the decision to reconcile, Jesus directs us "...to thy brother...." This is usually the hardest part because of the giant disclaimer that just because we tell someone that they offended us doesn't guarantee that they will change. Remember, that is God's job (more on that in a bit). But it is a necessary step in your search for personal peace where there may not be corporate peace. So take the first step "to thy brother" with these simple 3 points in mind:

• When you.......​
• I feel.......
• What I would like.......

Tara and I have practiced this over 22 years of marriage. Please note how I say practice because that is what it takes. Remember that as Christians, justification/salvation is the perfect license from God through Jesus Christ that we practice in sanctification with one another. So don't expect perfect where we are supposed to be practicing. Find your perfection in Christ and your practice will follow!

Calmly but clearly tell your brother what they have done. Let them know how what they do makes you feel. Now share with them what you would like them to do. Anybody interested in building a bridge will hear this and respond with change. If they don't, you know that right now the work may be limited to creating a safe island, but even that can be done in peace.

The work that God does in each heart is as individual as the timetable in which He does it. This is why giving the other person to God, no matter what, is the intercessory power of reconciliation! Regardless their response, putting them in God's hands allows Him to work on them while freeing us to move forward; even to return to the altar and "come and offer thy gift." Telling them where we stand, knowing where they stand, and liberating me from standing still and complaining.

We keep living as long as God keeps loving.